Nearly 5 months have passed since you left and still my thoughts are haunted by you every day. Those final 9 weeks were the hardest I’ve ever had to go through and took me to the limits of my strength, both physically and emotionally. You really put me through the wringer, not knowing if you were staying or not. Each day became an internal battle of never knowing what to expect or what I would find, yet there was a deep inner happiness that I got having that one extra day with you in my life. Even though there were days when you had nothing to say and made me feel like I should be elsewhere other than with you. But I wanted you to know you were not alone and I would always be there for you, as promised.
Whether it was my stupidity or just my sheer love, I even stayed by your side when the words you spoke cut me through like a knife. How you accused me of getting what I wanted and with venom you spat out how you hated me. Yet I told myself you did not mean it and I brushed it off so you could see I was not hurting when deep inside my heart was crushed. As the time passed you slowly pulled away from me. You were trying to make it easier on me as the day drew nearer when you would finally leave and then you did not wait for me to say goodbye. To this day that hurts.
I sincerely hope you are now happy and at peace. That you are with all those people who you missed so much in life.